Pro Tips

Shaving Pro-Tip: Try not to bleed to death.

Skiing Pro(?)-Tip: Try not to get killed.

Research Pro-Tip: Try shooting yourself. In the head. Now.

What have YOU been Wondering about?

I've been wondering about some things lately... There's nothing new about that... I usually wonder about a lot of things... Constant alcohol consumption has rendered me unable to comprehend many things that even undergrads can understand... Anyhow... I decided to compile a list of some of the things i've been wondering about lately to see if i can't understand them better by knowing that i don't understand them now...

1) When the hell is the bus home?? I mean, seriously... there are like a thousand different time-tables and all of them have different schedules for the bus... The public transport system in Syracuse has defeated me...

2) What variables should i REALLY worry about?

3) Chaos. It was a really bad idea on the part of the scientific community to think up the idea of chaos... I mean... Come the fuck on! How am i supposed to do anything without thinking that i'm not taking NEARLY enough variables into account??

4) Why is the staff at Dunkin' Donuts so rude??

5) When will the next Nusrat arrive on the music scene?? I wish he/she would hurry up and sing already...

6) Where can i get a Devnagari transliteration of Allama Iqbal's work?? Transilteration. Not translation.

7) Why am i not drawing comics anymore??

8) Should i get Ubuntu? Or should i upgrade the Fedora that i have?? Or should i forget about using an awesome, open source OS and stick with my copy of XP (which sucks)?

9) What's up with Altaaf Raja? Haven't heard from him lately...

10) Is giant sperm in Drosophila a form of ornamentation?? If so, how is it perceived by the female fly? Is the phenotype coupled with chemical cues of some sort? Or is it more of a physical/functional type of selection??

11) When will people grow up and not make fun of what i do?? When will i grow up and not laugh hysterically when i see a paper about 'rooster ejaculates'?

12) What are quantum dots??

13) Why the hell can't Graphene be used as a holographic material?? I mean, is it physically impossible?? Or can it, and that chemistry graduate student didn't know what he was talking about??

14) Will I ever stop procrastinating? Do you want to go get a beer and talk about this?

15) How many of these do you think i'll know the answer to in the foreseeable future?

Wanderlust

This comic by A Softer World just about sums up the last three days of my life... :D


The alt-text on the comic reads "i feel exhausted and perfect" ... So do i :D

My bike was without a rear brake for almost four months... So when the spare parts required were finally procured... i went off to celebrate with a buddy and beer... Beer led to dinner... and once filled to the brim with food and alcohol we decided we should go on a bike trip. So, at 12 in the night, we set out for a place called Skandagiri (Which is a hill)... We didn't know how to get there... we only knew that it was roughly 50 km down NH-7 in a town called Chikballapur...

We reached Chikballapur at around 2 am... And then spent the next two and half hours criss-crossing the damn town trying to find Skandagiri... Not many were about at this hour and the one's that were, gave extremely vague directions... The general population seems to have no sense of distance...

Anyhow, we finally ran in to a chap who worked as a trail guide at skandagiri... And he took a ride with us and showed us the place... THAT'S when we realised that we had come woefully unprepared for the trek up the mountain... The biggest problem was that we didn't have torches... And the guide refused to lend/sell us his... So we had to hire his services, SOLELY for the torch...

We reached the top by about 4.30 - 5 ... And then, after admiring the clear, starlit night sky for a space, fell asleep... ALMOST missed the sunrise... Luckily, there were some people around who were all excited that the sun was about to rise and were very loudly proclaiming their excitement... This woke us up... Just in time to see the sun emerge from behind the fog.

Sunrise

View from the top (i wish i had a better camera)

On returning... we played basketball in the evening... THEN we went for coffee to the all night CCD... stayed till about 3 am... Went home... but decided that if we slept now we won't get up in time for Horse Riding.... So decided not to sleep... Spent the night watching Sholay instead :D

Went horse riding at 6 in the morning... :D

I feel exhausted and perfect... That about sums it up... :D :D :D

Tryst with a Little Egret

Today I came upon a little egret while on my usual post-lunch walk around the JNCASR periphery.

Image Courtesy Wikipedia

Now if i say that i had never before seen this kind of bird i'd be lying... There are hundreds of them in JNC... Moreover, i'd be decieveing my public (to borrow a phrase from Wodehouse) if i said that i hadn't met this particular representative of the species before too. I had, on several occasions, observed this very bird in the exact same spot where i happened to meet it today. 

However, our relations had never before been more intimate than those of two passing strangers. Not even a cordial head-nod or a smile. Today, however, i decided to change this status and consequently, upon observing said bird in its usual spot, stopped to say "hi".

Now, i don't know if any of you have ever said "hi" to a bird before, but i must warn you that this is quite the wrong procedure to follow when trying to establish cordial contact between self and bird. It startles them... makes them go all jittery... Not very 'nerves-of-steel' types, these birds... 

Anyway, quick as  i am, i realised the mistake i had made in accosting the bird in this manner and hastened to make amends... That is to say, i hastened to stand very still and make no sound whatsoever. This gesture seemed to be taken kindly by the b., and, after about 15 minutes of self doing the statue act while being observed by it, it took a nervous step in my direction.

Thus, having identified me as a friendly and altogether alright chap, the bird relaxed... and so did i... It was still sensitive to any sudden movements on my behalf, but it let me approach closer nonetheless... Very white of it, i thought, to have trusted me knowing the ghastly treatment others from my species are known to have meted out to his kind. As time went on (and a considerable amount of it went on) it got used to my presence and even accepted me as part of the surroundings... So comfortable did i make it feel that it even turned its back to me... a thing no bird with any sense of self-preservation would do in the presence of a potential predator unless it is with a view to wing it in the opposite direction or when it has realised that the potential predator is in fact not one at all.

Anyhow, the bird now felt that Aditya was quite a decent fellow and could be trusted not to produce a rifle and proceed to fire at will. And thus it decided to resume its business, its business being to quench its thirst with water flowing through the stream and to find a few fish to go with the beverage. Remarkable fishing skills these birds have. They can give whoever it is that holds the current human record for fishing a run for his or her money anytime of the day. It proceeded to demonstrate to me the correct technique required to procure fish from the stream. This consisted of standing very still, waiting for a fish to come within range, and then striking with lightning speed with one's beak and trapping the poor water dweller in it. Having demonstrated the correct procedure, he went on to show-off... He no doubt thought "Sod the correct procedure! THIS is how the pros do it!" and then basically just waded through the water picking up fish as it went along... To say i was spellbound is to put it lightly... :D

When we parted, it was because i had work to finish and also did not want to impose my company on it while it lunched (I was unsure of what a bird's views are on the matter of company at meal times).  But one thing is for sure... Guaranteed, even.... And that is that i shall return to meet my winged friend as often as possible. I prefer its company to many of my own kind... :D

A rant by any other name would still be moronic...

I notice now that it's been a while since i have stressed the singular lack of comedic ability that is an attribute of life as we know it. So then, for those of you who are not aware... LIFE IS NOT FUNNY... not in the bloody least funny... And why do i say so?? Well, seriously, do you need me to list out reasons?? Look around you... Life is like a series of bad jokes in a play... A play that started out being a light hearted take on something serious... became a serious take on something light hearted... and then just lost itself in mindless drivel... Pathetic attempts at humour... Mostly slapstick... extremely repetitive... not to mention tiresome for the cast... seriously... we need to call the director of the play and tell him that although we appreciate his efforts, he has GOT to stop doing this!


OF COURSE there's a reason for this rant... and OF COURSE you have a shrewd idea of what it might be.... So, before you go all "Awwww... what happened now?? Is it what we think it is??" ... Let me be like one of those Preemptive strikers and say that No! It isn't what you think it is... It is merely a collection of a lot of things which, at 3 in the morning, came out of that twisted mass of cells i call my brain in the form of this blog post... Inconvenience caused is cherished and highly enjoyed.... :D


Anyway.... moving on (leaving my twisted brain behind)... what was it that i was supposed to move on to?? Ah well... nothing here... and, this early in the morning, or this late in the night, whichever you prefer, even the murky depths of my mind refuse to oblige me with the customary offering of bilge with which they are usually so forthcoming... I will therefore end this... Right after i reiterate... LIFE IS NOT FUNNY!!!

Ok... i'll stop now... Cheers :D And take good care of yourself... :D

What can i say?? :D

Steps to Humour:
1) Observe the picture shown below.
2) Read entry number 14.
3) Laugh like crazy.
4) Then read entry 15.
5) Smile.
6) Contemplate #s 14 and 15 together.
7) Laugh till it hurts.
8) Don't send me a mail calling me a filthy pervert.

I wish I couldn't see the irrationality

Logicians have but ill defined
As rational the human kind.
Logic, they say, belongs to man,
But let them prove it if they can.
 -- Oliver Goldsmith

I'm sick of trying to speak logic to people... And I've finally realised that the statement "Man is a rational animal" has no basis in fact...

Irrationality is the norm... Game theorists have it right... They define the moves in a game that would be most beneficial to the players... But they don't assume that the players would necessarily play in the most logical, beneficial way... There is in fact, built in to their equations, a large probability that only a small fraction of the population would make moves that are optimal for the situation... and people who ALWAYS do the right thing are unheard of... By and large our notion, that people are rational, is wrong... They are as irrational as Pi...

More importantly... in the real world, not only are people wont to act irrationally, they are also liable to hate you if you point this out to them... or act in what you consider to be a more rational manner...

So basically, you may be right... and may even have demonstrated, without any room for doubt, that you're right... but people will continue to do what they've always done and ignore the new method... WHY?? Because... "I've ALWAYS done it this way!" ... And you can do nothing about that... Except continue to be the idiot who wants to do things differently... or the idiot who'd not mind trying things out... even if they may potentially lead to disaster...

Where, pray tell, is your sense of adventure?? Let go! Have fun!! Go out and DO stuff!!! Even if its crazy... MORE SO if its crazy!! If nothing else, you'll have an awesome story to tell your grandkids!!

No It ISN'T!!

Ever been pissed off by Rhetorical questions??? :P

Ever noticed how on people's web profiles they have pics with labels like "that's me... Cute na??" or "that's my Boyfriend/girlfriend.... Isn't he/she hot??" or "isn't my car jus ROCKING???"

Well, no... most of the time the stuff you like is not necessarily stuff I like... so stop asking me with the ASSUMPTION that I will agree with your point of view... More likely than not, when you inquire about the beauty of your significant other, I am going to reply "Well, you know what they say! Beauty is in the eyes of the Beer Holder!" or some such equally insulting thing ("Not enough alcohol in the world!" is one of my favourites... closely followed by "Primates are genetically close to us but not close enough for it to be socially acceptable for you to date one")... Seriously, don't ask me...

So, once and for all, your car is just like any of the other million or so that came out of that production line, your girl/guy looks OK, you were cute JUST before you asked if you were cute or not, and the term 'Rocking' has been abused to death, please stop using it.

Cheers,
Adi

P.S: I'm guilty of using rhetorical questions in a singularly annoying manner myself but you must not presume to compare yourselves with me :D

Ummm... What other purpose???

HAHAHAHA .. .Found this gem outside my institute... Cracked me up, this one did! :D

I can only say "WTF??" and gesticulate wildly ...

I put that pic in for a reason... I think that the city of Bangalore was designed in exactly the same way as Windows ME... By degenerate drunkards....

There are like HAZAAR streets here called "18th cross"... WHAT THE F***??
Every part of Bangalore looks almost exactly the same as any other part... You can't bloody tell which place you're in by just looking around... You have to read signs... And here's the kicker... The signs, or most of them, are in Kannada... Again... WHAT THE BLOODY F***???

AND they have 25 buses numbered 25a to 25y !! ALSO, these don't have a common start/end point... No Sir! it isn't that easy here... These have a common VIA point... You KNOW i'm going to say it... WTF?!!?!

&%@#$@^&%#(@#

What bothers me more is that this could've been such a WONDERFUL city (Their Vidhan Sabha makes Bombay's Mantralaya look like a puny little outhouse)!!

Instead it has turned out like one of those kids turn out.... The ones who show great promise early in life only to turn into useless drunkards later in life... working for the government... designing awful cities... :P

Life is not funny...