ख़ाक

Haven't written in a while... Wrote this today in response to Bani's query about my research... It must be noted that it was her that started the conversation that led to the first stanza and she further inspired me to write the rest of the poem. She is my muse and this would not have been possible without her :-)

ख़ाक

(आदित्य)

बातें ही तो बनाना आता है,

वीद्यार्थी हूँ मैं,

बस और मुझे ख़ाक आता है

यहाँ आके फँस गया हूँ,

न पढने में मज़ा आता है,

और बिन पढ़े न चैन आता है

मेरी मिन्नतों पे हँसता होगा खुदा,

कहता होगा बेवक़ूफ़,

दुआओं से भी कभी रिजल्ट आता है?

ठीक फरमाया मैं कहता हूँ,

पर हुज़ूर,

बिना मिन्नतों के भी ख़ाक रिजल्ट आता है !

हँसते हैं लोग मुझपे,

और मेरी हालत पे,

मुझे खुद रोना आता है.

कमसकम आपकी हंसी के काम आ गया,

वरना विद्यार्थी हूँ,

विद्यार्थी क्या ख़ाक काम आता है!

A word to the wise

Toast with ham slices and red chilli pickle is not a particularly good idea... Much as one thinks it is, it isn't. Trust me on this one.

Google For the Nobel in Literature!

No, i'm not using 'Google' as a verb in the title of this post. I'm using it to refer to the company. And i'm suggesting that they should get the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Yes, i know that they should get one for science. But that is obvious.

The argument for a Nobel in Literature is a tad more derived.

As you all [by 'all' i mean the both of you (and in 'both', i include myself)] probably already know, Google has a service known as Google Suggest. For the uninitiated, this is the service that gives you those helpful little suggestions saying "Did you mean ... " when it thinks that you have misspelled something. That in itself was pretty darn good. But recently, they have improved that service by shifting it to an earlier time-point in the search process, namely, at the search field itself WHILE you're misspelling... Correcting you in real time and thus, hopefully, reducing the time it takes for you to accurately search for stuff.

Anyhow, the argument for the Nobel goes thus -

• One of the reasons that Nobel committee hands out these prizes is to promote the languages.
• Nobel laureates in literature write good stuff.
• If this stuff is recognised for its brilliance through a Nobel, more people might read it and benefit from it.
• NOBODY (other than people on the decision committee and other Nobel laureates) reads that stuff.
• Learning to spell is a first step towards acquiring good language skills.
• Google Suggest is a practical way of getting people to learn the right spelling.
• MILLIONS of people use Google.
• End of Argument

This argument, admittedly, has its flaws. The first of which is that you can ignore the suggestion. And this certainly i true. But it is harder to ignore a suggestion on your computer screen correcting YOUR spelling when making that correction might make your search easier. It is, however, ridiculously easy to ignore the whole body of literature that has been awarded the Nobel. And it is EASIER to not read all of the other stuff that didn't get a Nobel to be able to appreciate the quality of the work that DID get it. Google suggest starts at a more basic level... At a grass-roots level. And, out of the millions who use Google everyday, if it makes about 1% think about language and how it is important, it deserves a Nobel for services done to the Language (Whichever language that might be).

Pro Tips

Shaving Pro-Tip: Try not to bleed to death.

Skiing Pro(?)-Tip: Try not to get killed.

Research Pro-Tip: Try shooting yourself. In the head. Now.

What have YOU been Wondering about?

I've been wondering about some things lately... There's nothing new about that... I usually wonder about a lot of things... Constant alcohol consumption has rendered me unable to comprehend many things that even undergrads can understand... Anyhow... I decided to compile a list of some of the things i've been wondering about lately to see if i can't understand them better by knowing that i don't understand them now...

1) When the hell is the bus home?? I mean, seriously... there are like a thousand different time-tables and all of them have different schedules for the bus... The public transport system in Syracuse has defeated me...

2) What variables should i REALLY worry about?

3) Chaos. It was a really bad idea on the part of the scientific community to think up the idea of chaos... I mean... Come the fuck on! How am i supposed to do anything without thinking that i'm not taking NEARLY enough variables into account??

4) Why is the staff at Dunkin' Donuts so rude??

5) When will the next Nusrat arrive on the music scene?? I wish he/she would hurry up and sing already...

6) Where can i get a Devnagari transliteration of Allama Iqbal's work?? Transilteration. Not translation.

7) Why am i not drawing comics anymore??

8) Should i get Ubuntu? Or should i upgrade the Fedora that i have?? Or should i forget about using an awesome, open source OS and stick with my copy of XP (which sucks)?

9) What's up with Altaaf Raja? Haven't heard from him lately...

10) Is giant sperm in Drosophila a form of ornamentation?? If so, how is it perceived by the female fly? Is the phenotype coupled with chemical cues of some sort? Or is it more of a physical/functional type of selection??

11) When will people grow up and not make fun of what i do?? When will i grow up and not laugh hysterically when i see a paper about 'rooster ejaculates'?

12) What are quantum dots??

13) Why the hell can't Graphene be used as a holographic material?? I mean, is it physically impossible?? Or can it, and that chemistry graduate student didn't know what he was talking about??

14) Will I ever stop procrastinating? Do you want to go get a beer and talk about this?

15) How many of these do you think i'll know the answer to in the foreseeable future?