Nash's Equilibrium and How it Feeds My Pathological Narcissism

Assumption #1: The popular version of Nash's equilibrium and its applicability to barroom pick-ups is well known amongst today's bar-going population.

Assumption #2: These dynamics are gender independent or at least perceived as such by said population.

Logical Conclusion: I'm the most beautiful bastard at the bar!

ख़ाक

Haven't written in a while... Wrote this today in response to Bani's query about my research... It must be noted that it was her that started the conversation that led to the first stanza and she further inspired me to write the rest of the poem. She is my muse and this would not have been possible without her :-)

ख़ाक

(आदित्य)

बातें ही तो बनाना आता है,

वीद्यार्थी हूँ मैं,

बस और मुझे ख़ाक आता है

यहाँ आके फँस गया हूँ,

न पढने में मज़ा आता है,

और बिन पढ़े न चैन आता है

मेरी मिन्नतों पे हँसता होगा खुदा,

कहता होगा बेवक़ूफ़,

दुआओं से भी कभी रिजल्ट आता है?

ठीक फरमाया मैं कहता हूँ,

पर हुज़ूर,

बिना मिन्नतों के भी ख़ाक रिजल्ट आता है !

हँसते हैं लोग मुझपे,

और मेरी हालत पे,

मुझे खुद रोना आता है.

कमसकम आपकी हंसी के काम आ गया,

वरना विद्यार्थी हूँ,

विद्यार्थी क्या ख़ाक काम आता है!

A word to the wise

Toast with ham slices and red chilli pickle is not a particularly good idea... Much as one thinks it is, it isn't. Trust me on this one.

Google For the Nobel in Literature!

No, i'm not using 'Google' as a verb in the title of this post. I'm using it to refer to the company. And i'm suggesting that they should get the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Yes, i know that they should get one for science. But that is obvious.

The argument for a Nobel in Literature is a tad more derived.

As you all [by 'all' i mean the both of you (and in 'both', i include myself)] probably already know, Google has a service known as Google Suggest. For the uninitiated, this is the service that gives you those helpful little suggestions saying "Did you mean ... " when it thinks that you have misspelled something. That in itself was pretty darn good. But recently, they have improved that service by shifting it to an earlier time-point in the search process, namely, at the search field itself WHILE you're misspelling... Correcting you in real time and thus, hopefully, reducing the time it takes for you to accurately search for stuff.

Anyhow, the argument for the Nobel goes thus -

• One of the reasons that Nobel committee hands out these prizes is to promote the languages.
• Nobel laureates in literature write good stuff.
• If this stuff is recognised for its brilliance through a Nobel, more people might read it and benefit from it.
• NOBODY (other than people on the decision committee and other Nobel laureates) reads that stuff.
• Learning to spell is a first step towards acquiring good language skills.
• Google Suggest is a practical way of getting people to learn the right spelling.
• MILLIONS of people use Google.
• End of Argument

This argument, admittedly, has its flaws. The first of which is that you can ignore the suggestion. And this certainly i true. But it is harder to ignore a suggestion on your computer screen correcting YOUR spelling when making that correction might make your search easier. It is, however, ridiculously easy to ignore the whole body of literature that has been awarded the Nobel. And it is EASIER to not read all of the other stuff that didn't get a Nobel to be able to appreciate the quality of the work that DID get it. Google suggest starts at a more basic level... At a grass-roots level. And, out of the millions who use Google everyday, if it makes about 1% think about language and how it is important, it deserves a Nobel for services done to the Language (Whichever language that might be).

Pro Tips

Shaving Pro-Tip: Try not to bleed to death.

Skiing Pro(?)-Tip: Try not to get killed.

Research Pro-Tip: Try shooting yourself. In the head. Now.

What have YOU been Wondering about?

I've been wondering about some things lately... There's nothing new about that... I usually wonder about a lot of things... Constant alcohol consumption has rendered me unable to comprehend many things that even undergrads can understand... Anyhow... I decided to compile a list of some of the things i've been wondering about lately to see if i can't understand them better by knowing that i don't understand them now...

1) When the hell is the bus home?? I mean, seriously... there are like a thousand different time-tables and all of them have different schedules for the bus... The public transport system in Syracuse has defeated me...

2) What variables should i REALLY worry about?

3) Chaos. It was a really bad idea on the part of the scientific community to think up the idea of chaos... I mean... Come the fuck on! How am i supposed to do anything without thinking that i'm not taking NEARLY enough variables into account??

4) Why is the staff at Dunkin' Donuts so rude??

5) When will the next Nusrat arrive on the music scene?? I wish he/she would hurry up and sing already...

6) Where can i get a Devnagari transliteration of Allama Iqbal's work?? Transilteration. Not translation.

7) Why am i not drawing comics anymore??

8) Should i get Ubuntu? Or should i upgrade the Fedora that i have?? Or should i forget about using an awesome, open source OS and stick with my copy of XP (which sucks)?

9) What's up with Altaaf Raja? Haven't heard from him lately...

10) Is giant sperm in Drosophila a form of ornamentation?? If so, how is it perceived by the female fly? Is the phenotype coupled with chemical cues of some sort? Or is it more of a physical/functional type of selection??

11) When will people grow up and not make fun of what i do?? When will i grow up and not laugh hysterically when i see a paper about 'rooster ejaculates'?

12) What are quantum dots??

13) Why the hell can't Graphene be used as a holographic material?? I mean, is it physically impossible?? Or can it, and that chemistry graduate student didn't know what he was talking about??

14) Will I ever stop procrastinating? Do you want to go get a beer and talk about this?

15) How many of these do you think i'll know the answer to in the foreseeable future?

Wanderlust

This comic by A Softer World just about sums up the last three days of my life... :D


The alt-text on the comic reads "i feel exhausted and perfect" ... So do i :D

My bike was without a rear brake for almost four months... So when the spare parts required were finally procured... i went off to celebrate with a buddy and beer... Beer led to dinner... and once filled to the brim with food and alcohol we decided we should go on a bike trip. So, at 12 in the night, we set out for a place called Skandagiri (Which is a hill)... We didn't know how to get there... we only knew that it was roughly 50 km down NH-7 in a town called Chikballapur...

We reached Chikballapur at around 2 am... And then spent the next two and half hours criss-crossing the damn town trying to find Skandagiri... Not many were about at this hour and the one's that were, gave extremely vague directions... The general population seems to have no sense of distance...

Anyhow, we finally ran in to a chap who worked as a trail guide at skandagiri... And he took a ride with us and showed us the place... THAT'S when we realised that we had come woefully unprepared for the trek up the mountain... The biggest problem was that we didn't have torches... And the guide refused to lend/sell us his... So we had to hire his services, SOLELY for the torch...

We reached the top by about 4.30 - 5 ... And then, after admiring the clear, starlit night sky for a space, fell asleep... ALMOST missed the sunrise... Luckily, there were some people around who were all excited that the sun was about to rise and were very loudly proclaiming their excitement... This woke us up... Just in time to see the sun emerge from behind the fog.

Sunrise

View from the top (i wish i had a better camera)

On returning... we played basketball in the evening... THEN we went for coffee to the all night CCD... stayed till about 3 am... Went home... but decided that if we slept now we won't get up in time for Horse Riding.... So decided not to sleep... Spent the night watching Sholay instead :D

Went horse riding at 6 in the morning... :D

I feel exhausted and perfect... That about sums it up... :D :D :D

Tryst with a Little Egret

Today I came upon a little egret while on my usual post-lunch walk around the JNCASR periphery.

Image Courtesy Wikipedia

Now if i say that i had never before seen this kind of bird i'd be lying... There are hundreds of them in JNC... Moreover, i'd be decieveing my public (to borrow a phrase from Wodehouse) if i said that i hadn't met this particular representative of the species before too. I had, on several occasions, observed this very bird in the exact same spot where i happened to meet it today. 

However, our relations had never before been more intimate than those of two passing strangers. Not even a cordial head-nod or a smile. Today, however, i decided to change this status and consequently, upon observing said bird in its usual spot, stopped to say "hi".

Now, i don't know if any of you have ever said "hi" to a bird before, but i must warn you that this is quite the wrong procedure to follow when trying to establish cordial contact between self and bird. It startles them... makes them go all jittery... Not very 'nerves-of-steel' types, these birds... 

Anyway, quick as  i am, i realised the mistake i had made in accosting the bird in this manner and hastened to make amends... That is to say, i hastened to stand very still and make no sound whatsoever. This gesture seemed to be taken kindly by the b., and, after about 15 minutes of self doing the statue act while being observed by it, it took a nervous step in my direction.

Thus, having identified me as a friendly and altogether alright chap, the bird relaxed... and so did i... It was still sensitive to any sudden movements on my behalf, but it let me approach closer nonetheless... Very white of it, i thought, to have trusted me knowing the ghastly treatment others from my species are known to have meted out to his kind. As time went on (and a considerable amount of it went on) it got used to my presence and even accepted me as part of the surroundings... So comfortable did i make it feel that it even turned its back to me... a thing no bird with any sense of self-preservation would do in the presence of a potential predator unless it is with a view to wing it in the opposite direction or when it has realised that the potential predator is in fact not one at all.

Anyhow, the bird now felt that Aditya was quite a decent fellow and could be trusted not to produce a rifle and proceed to fire at will. And thus it decided to resume its business, its business being to quench its thirst with water flowing through the stream and to find a few fish to go with the beverage. Remarkable fishing skills these birds have. They can give whoever it is that holds the current human record for fishing a run for his or her money anytime of the day. It proceeded to demonstrate to me the correct technique required to procure fish from the stream. This consisted of standing very still, waiting for a fish to come within range, and then striking with lightning speed with one's beak and trapping the poor water dweller in it. Having demonstrated the correct procedure, he went on to show-off... He no doubt thought "Sod the correct procedure! THIS is how the pros do it!" and then basically just waded through the water picking up fish as it went along... To say i was spellbound is to put it lightly... :D

When we parted, it was because i had work to finish and also did not want to impose my company on it while it lunched (I was unsure of what a bird's views are on the matter of company at meal times).  But one thing is for sure... Guaranteed, even.... And that is that i shall return to meet my winged friend as often as possible. I prefer its company to many of my own kind... :D

A rant by any other name would still be moronic...

I notice now that it's been a while since i have stressed the singular lack of comedic ability that is an attribute of life as we know it. So then, for those of you who are not aware... LIFE IS NOT FUNNY... not in the bloody least funny... And why do i say so?? Well, seriously, do you need me to list out reasons?? Look around you... Life is like a series of bad jokes in a play... A play that started out being a light hearted take on something serious... became a serious take on something light hearted... and then just lost itself in mindless drivel... Pathetic attempts at humour... Mostly slapstick... extremely repetitive... not to mention tiresome for the cast... seriously... we need to call the director of the play and tell him that although we appreciate his efforts, he has GOT to stop doing this!


OF COURSE there's a reason for this rant... and OF COURSE you have a shrewd idea of what it might be.... So, before you go all "Awwww... what happened now?? Is it what we think it is??" ... Let me be like one of those Preemptive strikers and say that No! It isn't what you think it is... It is merely a collection of a lot of things which, at 3 in the morning, came out of that twisted mass of cells i call my brain in the form of this blog post... Inconvenience caused is cherished and highly enjoyed.... :D


Anyway.... moving on (leaving my twisted brain behind)... what was it that i was supposed to move on to?? Ah well... nothing here... and, this early in the morning, or this late in the night, whichever you prefer, even the murky depths of my mind refuse to oblige me with the customary offering of bilge with which they are usually so forthcoming... I will therefore end this... Right after i reiterate... LIFE IS NOT FUNNY!!!

Ok... i'll stop now... Cheers :D And take good care of yourself... :D

What can i say?? :D

Steps to Humour:
1) Observe the picture shown below.
2) Read entry number 14.
3) Laugh like crazy.
4) Then read entry 15.
5) Smile.
6) Contemplate #s 14 and 15 together.
7) Laugh till it hurts.
8) Don't send me a mail calling me a filthy pervert.